Life and Coaching
Musings on Life and Coaching
To get to where you want to be you have to start where you are right now. There is no perfect time or day to start creating your dream life. Feelings of restlessness, unhappiness, and discontentment are very common but not talked about. Contentment and happiness do not happen by accident. It is our responsibility to create these things within our own lives.
I know most of you already don't have the time, money, or energy to do XYZ. That is valid. But here is the thing. How bad do you want XYZ? Are you willing to give up everything standing in your way to get it? This includes people, your old identity, creature comforts.
You have to make the time, find the money, and harness the energy. You have to start cultivating the life you want. That is your job. No one can save you. It's not anyone's job to. Yes, that kinda sucks. Sometimes it is lonely. A lot of the time it is difficult. That is where a coach can come in to help. Coaching can help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
The difference between people who “settle” and the people who “succeed” is willingness to do the same boring things over and over again. You must ignore what everyone else is doing. While your friends are partying, watching Netflix, and scrolling TikTok you have to stay strong in your goals, dreams, and values. You must know yourself first. Explore your wants, needs, values, likes, and dislikes. This is not as easy as it may seem. Many of us never had the safe space to develop these things in childhood or adolescence. Many of us are in our late twenties or early thirties before we are even able to consider these elements of life. This is due to brain development, society, family dynamics, trauma, and ancestral trauma. Long story short life is complicated. Whatever age you are now is the perfect age to tap into yourself and your truth. I work with adults of any age to help them blossom into the next stage of life.
Most people are living a life chosen for them by their caregivers. If they grew up eating junk food then chances are they probably still do. If they grew up being encouraged to read they probably still do. Realize you are an ADULT. You pick your habits. You have the ability to choose what is important to you. It is okay to disagree with society, your parents, your school teachers. It is okay to question your lifestyle. It is safe to make changes that are appropriate for YOU. It is safe to seek help and teachers on your journey as well. Life is all about learning. You are allowed to have help figuring these things out. Coaching is one way to do this. A passionate and knowledgeable coach can absolutely help you learn about yourself. That is where I prefer to start with my clients. If you don’t know what you want or why you want it it is harder to reach your goals. Stop Chasing other people’s WANTS and WHYS and watch how your world changes!
Contentment and Happiness are cultivated within your daily practices or habits. Your routines and habits are essentially you practicing being the person you want to become. Personally I have tried and changed and adapted my routine and habits over the years. Some things stick, some don't. I am allowed to experiment. It's not a failure if you try something and decide it is not for you. Change the language you use to speak to yourself. Life is an experiment. Find what works, forget what doesn't.
Be prepared to do the boring and the uncomfortable. Be prepared to do what other people see as lame or boring or uncomfortable or hard. Because yes, having a budget is hard but so is living paycheck to paycheck for 40+ years. Yes, waking up early to have a routine is hard at first but it will also put you in a better mood for the rest of the day. In my opinion that beats the hell out of being miserable all day and then coming home to watch Netflix and eat junk food. Small changes that you make will start to shift the entire world. You never know who you will inspire when you start living your own truth instead of following the “normal”. Look around, the “normal” are depressed, anxious, overworked, underpaid, unhealthy, overmedicated, scared, and confused.
Eventually these new habits become your identity and they are just a given. Going to the gym is just something you do. Saying no to a party because it isn't in your budget is second nature. No guilt, no over explaining. It's just what you do because that is what it takes. That's when you gain this sense of peace surrounding your decisions. That's when you know how to deal with life. You realize that a crisis can be managed and you go about your business and some days you show up sad, tired, and a bit confused, or lonely but you still show up. The act of simply showing up for what is important for YOU eases the pain of whatever crisis you will face. You are calling the shots and it is possible to feel truly in control of your life. It is possible to overcome health problems, financial struggles, discontentment and anything else in this life. As a Coach I meet you where you are. I work with your specific wants and needs. I Listen to my clients and challenge them to get to know themselves on a deeper level in order to best reach their goals.
The idea is not to rid your life of emotion and humanness. Struggles will happen. The idea is to not let your emotions and humanness destroy all the beautiful joyous moments you have or could potentially have. Embrace your humanness and add in play and creativity. Add in love and joyful moments. Don’t be so caught up in productivity and trying to “heal” that you forget to enjoy the simplicity of life. The possibilities for improving your life are absolutely endless.
I encourage a mind, body, and spirit connection. This is not attached to any specific religion. All religions and people are welcome. Start by realizing that you are at home in your body. You increase your feeling of safety when you connect to your own body as a home. Noone can take your body from you. Your mind and spirit are housed inside your body right now. Strengthen the connection between the three to watch as co-dependence, finances, addictions, depression, anxiety, and rage become easier to manage.
With Love,
Nikki